mindful divorce
Responsible Divorce mindful vs mindless

Allycia-Ashely M., 14 y.o. child of divorce, writes about "My Struggle"

I am a single parent child; I've come to say that I am highly affected by it. I have lived with my mother and brother all of my life. I have a couple of reasons why it has troubled my life so much.

My emotions are just the first things that come to mind when I think of my lifestyle. I'm sometimes angry of the fact that I can never get in contact with my father. I'm also angry because I know my mother personally, but not my father. Sometimes I think that most of the male population doesn't care about their children. Other times I feel I'm just loved by only my mother and that my father doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

When you are a single parent child all of your needs are sometimes not met. My personal needs include receiving love from both of my parents and not just one, another is going through life not living by other people's mistakes, but by learning from them.

That is why I need both of my parents because both of them have experienced a lot and they should share it with their children. Both of my needs are not met already, because I know now that I haven't learned everything there is to learn about life. I also haven't received love from my father, though our birthdays are on the same date, I don't get as much as a happy birthday or even a hello. When this happens I feel as though my insides have been cut up into pieces and then stomped all over.

In my case my mother had a successful pregnancy, so shouldn't a successful pregnancy equal a successful life for the child regarding two loving parents; a mother and a father, also a family that can resolve whatever issues they have that need to be solved. Not knowing where to keep my anger and frustration and not knowing who or what to take them out on keeps me confused. When it comes to holidays such as Mother's and Father's day I have no father to cherish. Now you can see why I am highly affected by being raised by one parent.

Growing up with only one parent has affected me positively also. From years of experience I was taught that life is a struggle and that I control how big or small the struggle is. My emotions won't change about the way I feel, but when I grow to be an adult, my children won't live the same life I do and I guarantee that. My children will live a better life than I do.

My issue of having one parent has disciplined my inner self in two ways. When the day comes that I become an adult and I know that I have been raised by one parent, I will not use this as an excuse if I don't make it to the top in life. I am disciplined enough to be appreciative that I have at least a parent. The fact that I have only my mother is not going to bring me down because I truly see myself going places in life. Not having a father has encouraged me to show my father what he's missed out on. When my father's all old and gray he will then realize the biggest mistake he has ever made in his life was when he left me. These are some of the ways I am personally affected in regard to being raised by only one parent.

Good News:
After submitting this essay, Allycia-Ashely was contacted by her father.

Allycia-Ashely was one of the 3 winners of the CRC Teen Essay Contest. See more of the CRC Teen Essay Contest.


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